True Colors

Being true to oneself is always going to be a challenge. Being true to what God has called you, nearly impossible without His help.

Living in so many different areas has been a good experience for me. I grew up in Seattle, moved to Utah when I was twelve, attended college in Missouri, and ministered alongside my husband for five years in Wisconsin, moving to again over a year ago to the East Coast. In each place, I had to decide all over again who I wanted to be. Because, as my dad put it, "When you move, you have the opportunity to become someone different."

I have listened to Dad's words. There are some parts of my character I have improved upon (with much help from God and His trials) and don't worry about unpacking it at my new home. I am more patient and gentler than a few years ago. I keep a cleaner home, and am writing more and focusing on what is important better than I have before.

And there are those times I knew were inevitable that slip out and uncover my "human-ess" and flaws. Then I have to dig through my boxes I thought could be taped shut awhile longer and humble myself, apologize, and restore the relationship (hopefully, making it stronger than it was before). Maybe it's the same feeling you get at an airport when your suitcase falls open and granny-panties fall out. Not that this has ever happened to me.

Maybe starting over in a new place is good on one hand, but on the other hand, people have to get to know me all over again. And it's never a great experience when I see and feel that realization in people that I am not perfect. Aww, but it was nice while it lasted.

The one good thing that comes from someone getting to know you is they realize that you have struggles, too. And that leads to better moments of ministry and healing. This is what a Christian life should be; open, honest and willing to be real. God can use "real" better than He can "perfect."


Eva said...

I believe it's hard for people that know you to allow you to grow up/change things about yourself. Like going to a college reunion and having people expect you to be the partier/bookworm/people-pleaser that you used to be. That's why it's nice to meet new people/move because they allow you to be who you are because they don't know that you used to be addicted to marshmallows, and had to carry disinfectant with you to the public restrooms...you know, if that has changed :)

GiBee said...

Marshmallows, huh?!?

That explains chubby bunnies!

Lori said...

Your post made me ponder...

I have also moved with husband and family. In each new environment God brought us to, it seemed like He provided situations/people so different character aspects would grow or develop.

I had no choice in being a "different" person in each location - it was required that I change/grow so I could meet His expectations. Staying the same, wallowing in a "this is who I am" mentality, wouldn't have brought the many blessings that I've experienced.

So. I guess I've adopted the attitude that change is good. Not comfortable or convenient, but good. Fortunately I also believe God is in charge :) so that helps.

Thanks for a thought provoking post - it made me thankful for all the things I've learned along life's way!

Great Blog!